Often the reason given for why we don’t give children the freedom we had is that the world isn’t as safe as it used to be. It certainly seems pretty scary out there based on what we hear about in the news. However, statistics tell us our kids are no more in danger now than we were at their age. Maybe it is the litigious society in which we live; it must always be someone’s fault if someone gets hurt. Whatever the reason, our fear has infected our children.
Since our children take their cues from us, when we worry, they do too. They are less willing to take risks. I remember my kids telling me they didn’t want to ride their bike in the neighborhood because they might get hit by a car. I was the one who told them that. So, instead of building confidence by exploring their world and meeting new friends, they stayed home and complained about being bored. I believe the anxiety I felt about their safety sometimes kept them from doing the very things that enriched my childhood immeasurably and made me a more imaginative and self-confident adult.
There is no doubt that one of our primary responsibilities as parents is to keep our children safe. But there is always a balance to be found between safety and freedom. Safety often drives us to only allow adult-organized, structured time, but it is child-driven, unstructured time that encourages creativity and self-reliance.
In our family’s experience, it is very difficult to find this balance during the school year. Academics, athletics, extracurricular events and our work schedules make it difficult to provide time for the kids to just be kids. So, I think the answer is for us adults to schedule some unstructured time for our children this summer. Maybe that means being home and letting them roam the neighborhood. Maybe it means going to a forest and letting them run free, as long as they are within shouting distance. One important thing my husband and I have learned is that when you take away the technology, you have to brace yourself for a good couple of hours of “I’m bored; there is nothing to do.” Don’t give in. Your reward will be that in the third or fourth hour, you may see the beginnings of a makeshift hideout appearing in your backyard.
Two great books about this topic are Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv, and Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child by Anthony Esolen.
Jennifer Cable
Elementary Principal